{(set: $moves to 0)
(set: $visitedEnt to false)
(set: $visitedAir to false)
(set: $visitedSto to false)
(set: $visitedUti to false)
(set: $visitedLiv to false)
(set: $visitedDin to false)
(set: $visitedKit to false)
(set: $visitedPan to false)
(set: $visitedWal to false)
(set: $visitedHal to false)
(set: $visitedGam to false)
(set: $visitedGue to false)
(set: $visitedMas to false)
}
<div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/ZTaaYBP.gif" title="Live from the Bunker" />
<div class="box">
<h4>[[Broadcast->Entrance]]</h4><h4>[[Credits]]</h4>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/rZn3l9a.gif" title="Internal Airlock Door" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Airlock")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Airlock")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Livingroom")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Livingroom")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Storage Room")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Storage Room")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>}
</div>
<div class="content">
{(if: $visitedEnt is false)[And... we're live... from the bunker. Or more correctly from my bunker. You didn't believe me but I did it.]<welcome|(click: ?welcome)[ (replace: ?welcome)[ (display: "Welcome") ] ](set: $visitedEnt to true)
(else:)[The entrance hall of again. But you already knew that.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="box">[[Return to Main Menu->Main Menu]]</div>
Designed, Written & Created by:
<a href="https://www.gregorypellechi.com">Gregory Pellechi</a>
All images are owned by their creators and are used under US fair use doctrine, as I am making no money from this game. I have also modified each image using <a href="https://snorpey.github.io/jpg-glitch/">Image Glitch Tool</a> and <a href="https://getmosh.io/">Mosh</a>.
Images:
Airlock - <a href="https://robert-simons-pevb.squarespace.com/enders-game-station/">Robert Simons</a>
Entrance - <a href="http://joakimolofsson.deviantart.com/art/Sci-Fi-326807083">Joakin Olofsson</a>
Storage Room - <a href="https://www.artstation.com/artwork/storage-room">Geoffroy Thoorens</a>
Utility Room - <a href="http://penemenn.deviantart.com/art/Boiler-Room-2-204430372">Penemenn</a>
Living Room - <a href="https://www.artstation.com/artwork/m-deck">Sam Brown</a>
Dining Room - <a href="http://pringleart.com/">Thomas Pringle</a>
Kitchen - <a href="http://600v.deviantart.com/art/kitchen-zone-408206596">600V</a>
Walk-In Freezer - <a href="http://phade01.deviantart.com/art/Storage-384156429">Phade01</a>
Pantry - <a href="http://www.kukiarts.com/scifi_gallery.html">Luca Marchetti</a>
Hallway - <a href="https://diwan.artstation.com/projects/JbWw0">Said Zamzad</a>
Game Room - <a href="http://wallpapercraze.com/images/wallpapers/normandy_command_room_w1.jpeg">Unknown</a>
Guest Bedroom - <a href="https://www.renderosity.com/mod/gallery/sci-fi-bedroom/2670160/?p">RetroDevil</a>
Master Bedroom - <a href="https://www.artstation.com/artwork/13Qr8">Adrian Marc</a>
Blank Screen - <a href="https://kfiretv-cn396iwnnfhyi.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/fire-tv-blank-screen-on-boot.jpg">Unknown</a>
Available for free through <a href="https://www.itch.io">itch.io</a>.
This game was created for the first Unofficial <a href="https://waypoint.vice.com/en_us">Waypoint</a> game jam, known as - <a href="https://itch.io/jam/new-jam-city">New Jam City</a>.
Special thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/Onarru">Onarru</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/Wazanator">Wazanator</a> for hosting New Jam City with me.
Without the help of <a href="http://videlaisstudios.info/">Dan Cox</a> this game wouldn't have functioned as beautifully as it does. He has been a big help and answered my questions without even knowing me. Watch his <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTWJzxNdsIDHiYzGh-2Fd1w">Twine tutorial videos on YouTube</a> as he makes this so much easier for everyone.
<div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/CM2piKf.gif" title="External Airlock Door" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Entrance")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Entrance")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedAir is false)[As you can clearly see it's got the latest in bunker related technology. This airlock is rated for the radiation, viral & biological agents, and is designed to withstand full on frontal assualt by an Abrams.]<locked|(click: ?locked)[ (replace: ?locked)[ (display: "Locked") ] ](set: $visitedAir to true)
(else:)[Wonder what all the banging was about.]}
</div>
</div>
<div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/Zk0NGPQ.gif" title="Living Room" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Entrance")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Entrance")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Dining Room")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Dining Room")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Hallway")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Hallway")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedLiv is false)[This is where the magic happens. Movie magic that is. And occassionally real magic. I'm an amateur illusionist, and this is the best place to practice.]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Movies") ] ](set: $visitedLiv to true)
(else:)[Here's the livingroom...again.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/f3ZRUtE.gif" title="Storage Room Interior" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Entrance")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Entrance")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Utility Room")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Utility Room")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedSto is false)[It's a storage closet... ]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Storage") ] ](set: $visitedSto to true)
(else:)[Maybe I should call this the mud room. Then again it's not that close to the airlock.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/sgNot7N.gif" title="Dining Room" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Livingroom")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Livingroom")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Kitchen")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Kitchen")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedDin is false)[It's... the dining room. Chandelier included. Because meals should be eaten at a table and not on the couch. Even when alone. Just because the apocalypse has destroyed civilization doesn't mean one shouldn't strive to remain civil.](set: $visitedDin to true)
(else:)[The dining room again.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/HTFtTe3.gif" title="Kitchen" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Dining Room")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Dining Room")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Pantry")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Pantry")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Walk-in Freezer")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Walk-in Freezer")]</h4>}
</div>
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedKit is false)[This is where the magic happens. The magic of turning previously mundane and unappealing objects into edible concepts often described as meals. Meals that provide sustenance.]<dinner|(click: ?dinner)[ (replace: ?dinner)[ (display: "Food") ] ](set: $visitedKit to true)
(else:)[Ah, the kitchen.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/zl5cqb2.gif" title="Pantry" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Kitchen")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Kitchen")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedPan is false)[This is the pantry, slash wine cellar, slash closet two.]<dry|(click: ?dry)[ (replace: ?dry)[ (display: "Goods") ] ](set: $visitedPan to true)
(else:)[Not much to see here beyond dried goods.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/rHvDmlY.gif" title="Hallway" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Livingroom")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Livingroom")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Game Room")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Game Room")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Guest Bedroom")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Guest Bedroom")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "Master Bedroom")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Master Bedroom")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedHal is false)[This is not where the magic happens. But it does takes us to all the places it does.]<hall|(click: ?hall)[ (replace: ?hall)[ (display: "Way") ] ](set: $visitedHal to true)
(else:)[Does this hallway need an accent wall? Or perhaps some artwork on the wall?]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/r7oCivJ.gif" title="Game Room" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Hallway")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Hallway")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedGam is false)[This is where the magic happens. My very own game room. It's setup for Magic: The Gathering games and other assorted past times.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Game") ] ](set: $visitedGam to true)
(else:)[Best thing about Magic: The Gathering. It'll weather the apocalypse. Hearthstone, Gwent, basically anything except Netrunner is going to die in a what presumably is a fire.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/u1wVD18.gif" title="Guest Bedroom" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Hallway")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Hallway")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedGue is false)[The guest bedroom. No magic happens here. And not because I have a camera in the room.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed") ] ](set: $visitedGue to true)
(else:)[Seriously, I only have a camera in here to make sure that any guests aren't sneaking around the bunker while I sleep. Honest.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/dcjGdJZ.gif" title="Master Bedroom" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Hallway")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Hallway")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedMas is false)[This is where the magic happens]<master|(click: ?master)[ (replace: ?master)[ (display: "Room") ] ](set: $visitedMas to true)
(else:)[This is where the magic happens.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/ATDdkGT.gif" title="Walk-In Freezer" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Kitchen")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Kitchen")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedWal is false)[Winner, winner! Chicken Dinner!]<frozen|(click: ?frozen)[ (replace: ?frozen)[ (display: "Freezer") ] ](set: $visitedWal to true)
(else:)[Faux fowl. How did I miss that? It's like my whole life has been a lie.]}
</div>
</div>
</div><div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<div class="header">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/LgxpbBe.gif" title="Utility Room" />
{<h3>Camera Control</h3>
<h4>(link: "Storage Room")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "Storage Room")]</h4>
<h4>(link: "End Broadcast")[(set: $moves to it + 1)(goto: "The End")]</h4>
</div>}
<div class="content">
(print: $moves)
{(if: $visitedUti is false)[If the security room is the nerve center of my bunker, then this place is the beating heart. ]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "Resources") ] ](set: $visitedUti to true)
(else:)[All you'll find here is water, fuel, a bunch of machinery and some poop. There's poop's contained so it's hygenic.]}
</div>
</div>
</div>[Here it is in all its glory. Built by yours truly. And if you're wondering why the image is a bit weird, it's because I'm streaming from my internal security system. ]<welcome|(click: ?welcome)[ (replace: ?welcome)[ (display: "Welcome 2") ] ][It's not the best setup but I haven't found a good solution for wifi. I'm underground... otherwise this wouldn't be a bunker... and so the walls are too thick for the signal to penetrate. But it'll do.]<welcome|(click: ?welcome)[ (replace: ?welcome)[ (display: "Welcome 3") ] ]<div class="or"> OR </div>[I could just wait to do this another time. Once I've worked out all the kinks. Of course the apocalypse could happen by then.]<welcome|(click: ?welcome)[ (replace: ?welcome)[ (display: "Velcome") ] ][Now down to the business at hand. Proving to your stupid faces I wasn't lying. Huh, huh, was I? Look around at this! A fully fuctional bunker! Proving you all wrong. Oh so wrong.]<welcome|(click: ?welcome)[ (replace: ?welcome)[ (display: "Welcome 4") ] ][But hey, what's good internet? I'll tell you what - this bunker. ]<welcome|(click: ?welcome)[ (replace: ?welcome)[ (display: "Welcome 5") ] ]So sit back and allow me to show you the fruits of my labor.[Now you might be asking why a bunker needs an airlock if we're not in space and or underwater. ]<locked|(click: ?locked)[ (replace: ?locked)[ (display: "Locked 2") ] ][Zombies. And other assorted threats such as raiders, aliens, communists, mimes. And any combination of the aforementioned. ]<locked|(click: ?locked)[ (replace: ?locked)[ (display: "Locked 3") ] ][This baby will keep out any of the potential apocalypses I've planned for and a whole bunch I haven't even thought of. Apocalypsi? Apocalyspa?]<locked|(click: ?locked)[ (replace: ?locked)[ (display: "Locked 4") ] ][Where most of my bunker buddies go wrong is in their lack of an airlock. You might as well just stakeout a nylon tent in Times Square for all the trouble you're inviting in by not having an airlock.]<locked|(click: ?locked)[ (replace: ?locked)[ (display: "Locked 5") ] ][Security is survivability. Plus there's nothing like a big imposing door to scare people away. It's both stylish and functional... **knock** **knock** Sounds like someone's outside. I'll just continue with the tour.]<locked|(click: ?locked)[ (replace: ?locked)[ (display: "Locked 6") ] ]<div class="or">OR </div>[If you want a special guest for this episode of MTV Cribs: Bunker Edition, I can open the airlock.]<locked|(click: ?locked)[ (goto: "The End") ][Ma, goddamnit! I'm streaming! I know it's nearly lunch, but put it in the box like I told you! Ugh, she can't hear me. Sometimes that woman...]<locked|(click: ?locked)[ (replace: ?locked)[ (display: "Locked 7") ] ][Anyways... on with the show. Follow me to the next room. This is where normally MTV would switch to a fastforward montage as we go through the same spaces again. But screw it, I'll just click a couple of times and we'll be there.]<locked|(click: ?locked)[(set: $moves to it + 1) (goto: "Entrance")][For jackets and other assorted outerwear. As well as other... things. ]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Storage 2") ] ][There's not much that happens here, but I'm only showing you this because it connects to the Utility room. Which you have to see!]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Storage 3") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div> [Not sure why I'm calling this a storage closet. How many closests do you transit through?]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Transit") ] ][...]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Storage 4") ] ][Yeah, so... the Utility room...]<stored|(click: ?stored)[(set ?moves to it + 1) (goto: "Utility Room") ][I'm not sure that analogy quite works. Maybe this place is more like the stomach, or the entire digestinal tract. Metaphors are not my strong suit. ]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "Resources 2") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div>[This stream's taken a turn.]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "System") ] ][What I'm trying to say is this room keeps this place working. Power, water, heat, air filtration, waste disposal - all of it happens here. If this were SimBunker, this would be the industrial zone.]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "Resources 2") ] ][Not to toot my own horn too much... but what I've maanged to put together here is, well it's something special. It's a feat of engineering that Elon Musk would be jealous of. ]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "Resources 4") ] ][Elon, if you're watching, call me. I've got some great ideas on how to create better synergy between industries. You've got my email, number's in the signature. That is if the apocalypse doesn't happen first.]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "Resources 5") ] ][Elon's a bunker buddy of mine. You think the Boring Company is just to improve transportation? Nah, he's all about the apocalypse and prepping. I know he's taking notes for his bunker.]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "Resources 6") ] ][So... not sure there's much more to say about all this without going into a lot of detail. And I doubt you're that interested in gray-water recovery. So on with the tour.]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (set ?moves to it + 1) (goto: "Storage Room")][It's quiet and secluded. Which you think wouldn't be a problem in a bunker, but you'd be surprised. People are always dropping by. Frankly, it's annoying. I really hope when the apocalypse comes things will quiet down.]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Movies 2") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div>[It's important to have hobbies.]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Hobbies") ] ][Because I've spared no expense, I of course have the comfiest couches. They were originalyl suggested to me by my bunker buddy Matteo. I doubt you know him. But he had an excellent point.]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Movies 3") ] ]There's no reason you can't ride out the apocalypse in style and comfort. Speaking of comfort, just wait till you see the next room.[I'm not big into cooking, but it's a skill I've had to learn if I want to survive the apocalypse. I'm always going to have to eat, and I can't rely on TV dinners forever. That said, you've got to see what I've got in stock in the walk-in.]<dinner|(click: ?dinner)[ (set: ?moves to it + 1) (goto: "Walk-In Freezer")][That's right. The walk-in is stocked with nothing but "Insatiable Person" TV dinners. All of them chicken dinners. Because that's my favorite. And I'm a winner.]<frozen|(click: ?frozen)[ (replace: ?frozen)[ (display: "Freezer 2") ] ][Wait, what? What do you mean it's "faux fowl"? It says clearly on the box that it's a chicken dinner!]<frozen|(click: ?frozen)[ (replace: ?frozen)[ (display: "Freezer 3") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div>[Something here is wronng.]<frozen|(click: ?frozen)[ (replace: ?frozen)[ (display: "Chicken") ] ][If it's not chicken then what am I eating? And don't go and tell me it's people. The economics of eating people never makes sense. What the hell is faux fowl?]<frozen|(click: ?frozen)[ (replace: ?frozen)[ (display: "Freezer 4") ] ][Is it even meat? Ugh, you know what nevermind. I'll find out later. But it better not have any GMOs, BPAs, glypates, or other artifical ingredients. You've got to eat healthy. And that means all organic.]<frozen|(click: ?frozen)[ (replace: ?frozen)[ (display: "Freezer 5") ] ][I know what you're thinking. Why didn't you establish a hydroponic farm if you're so concerned with eating healthy. The fact is I've got plans for one. I've scoped out how to expand my bunker to incorporate such a farm but I had to prioritize other things first.]<frozen|(click: ?frozen)[ (replace: ?frozen)[ (display: "Freezer 6") ] ]What things you ask. Well I'll show you.[It's not stocked with Cristal, but I do have Tang. Gotta have me some Tang. Tang the drink of astronauts and the apocalypse, cause the future is orange.]<dry|(click: ?dry)[ (replace: ?dry)[ (display: "Goods 2") ] ][No, before you say it I was not paid to mention Tang. I'm not paid to mention anything I show you today. This is all just straightup stuff that I like and use. I don't do paid promotions.]<dry|(click: ?dry)[ (replace: ?dry)[ (display: "Goods 3") ] ][What good's money? It's all about that gold. The apocalypse, even if it's just a financial one is going to see us return to the gold standard. If gold's no good then I've got water, toilet paper, bullets and other... special items to trade.]<dry|(click: ?dry)[ (replace: ?dry)[ (display: "Goods") ] ][It should be apparent that this is not where I'm cacheing my bullets. That's something you're not going to see. But enough of this glorified broom closet. On with the tour]<dry|(click: ?dry)[ (set: ?moves to it + 1) (goto: "Kitchen")][Due to the nature of the bedrock I've been digging through, and let me tell you this place is surrounded by granite, it wasn't easy to design and build a bunker. Some of my bunker buddies had it easy. But then they're just hiding in the dirt.]<hall|(click: ?hall)[ (replace: ?hall)[ (display: "Way 2") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div>[It does occur to me...]<hall|(click: ?hall)[ (replace: ?hall)[ (display: "Design") ] ][There's no conventional shape for a bunker or what they call "best practices" for its design, beyond those developed for underground construction. So I had to set some rooms off from the rest.]<hall|(click: ?hall)[ (replace: ?hall)[ (display: "Way 3") ] ]And now on to...[The apocalypse may be dangerous and scary. But sitting it out and waiting to take over the world is not the most exciting of times. That's why I built this room.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Game 2") ] ][It's setup for video games, board games, card games, arcade games. I even have a pool table that works wonders for any minitures or DnD game. It's a game geek's dream room. And it's mine. Really this is probably the place I've paid the most attention to.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Game 3") ] ][If you're asking yourself who am I going to play with? My other bunker buddies. They'll come visit. Just cause the apocalypse is going on doesn't mean game night is cancelled. Elon, Matteo, Kim, Takeshi. They'll all be by.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Game 4") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div>[Getting here safely won't be an issue either.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Tunnel") ] ][No this is not a waste of time and money. I can still play and will play video games here. My rig is right over there. You can't see it, but it's there. And yes I realize that the internet will go down with the apocalypse. That's why I've loaded my computer with plenty of Dating Sims and JRPGs.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Game 5") ] ][Look I may have a camera in here, but I also have one in my room.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 2") ] ][It's not like I put one in the bathrooms. Of which the guest has their own. So I did provide some privacy.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 3") ] ][Those aren't the only rooms without cameras. There isn't one where I am. Otherwise this tour would have started here.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 4") ] ][It's just standard bunker protocol to have cameras in most places. Ask any of my bunker buddies and you'll see. Cameras in every room but toilets or bathrooms, armories and security offices. Standard practice.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 5") ] ][I don't see what the big deal is. At least I'm considerate enough to have a guest bed with en-suite. Most bunkers don't even have that. Everyone just has to sleep in the barracks. And there's always a camera in there.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 6") ] ][It's not sad. It's practical. Look, I don't have to justify any of this to you. I built all of this. Which none of you believed I could.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Game 6") ] ]So my choice of games is both practical and entertaining. I know the apocalypse means I'm going to have a bounty of free time. And because of my bunker I won't be scaveging the wasteland like some plebian.[Where the magic happens. For real this time.]<master|(click: ?master)[ (replace: ?master)[ (display: "Room 2") ] ][Your mom knows what I'm talking about.]<master|(click: ?master)[ (replace: ?master)[ (display: "Room 3") ] ][Joking aside. What does it matter who I have here. It's my bunker and I'll have anyone here I want... who of course consents. Decency doesn't go out the door just because the world's been destroyed by the apocalypse.]<master|(click: ?master)[ (replace: ?master)[ (display: "Room 4") ] ]<div class="wrapper">
<div class="surround">
<img src="https://kfiretv-cn396iwnnfhyi.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/fire-tv-blank-screen-on-boot.jpg" title="Blank Screen">
<h4>[[Main Menu]]</h4>
</div>
<div class="content extra">...Connection Lost...</div>
</div>[But what are the odds of that... I'll be back shortly.]<welcome|(click: ?welcome)[ (goto: "The End") ][And not for the better. Maybe I should sort this security system so I can stream better.]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "System 2") ] ][But that's what you get for skimping. Big lesson here - a good security system is as vital as every other sytem in your bunker.]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "System 3") ] ][Bet my bunker buddies are nodding their heads right along. And wishing I had a more up-to-date system so I could read the stream chat...]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (replace: ?utility)[ (display: "System 4") ] ][Gods damn this was a stupid idea. I'll go get my phone and try with that. But I left it in the house charging. Be right back folks.]<utility|(click: ?utility)[ (goto: "The End") ][It's not an aula. Or an annex. Maybe breezeway? Equipment room may be a better name.]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Transit 2") ] ][But that implies more than this space really is. It says nothing about what is kept in the airlock for emergencies nor the armory. And before any of you ask, no you won't get to see the armory.]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Transit 3") ] ][Why would I have a camera in there? It's a room right behind where I'm currently sitting. Which is the security room, by the way.]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Transit 4") ] ][And no I'm not going to show you that either. Or where it's located in my bunker. Rule number one of bunker security. Don't share the location of your bunker. Rule number two of bunker security. Don't share the layout of your bunker.]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Transit 5") ] ][There are in fact 83 rules for bunkers. Guess, they're not so much rules or even guidelines, but best practices. They're something those of us with such bunker share. They're reviewed annually at BunKon.]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Transit 6") ] ][Last year it was held at the Murder Beach Hyatt. No joke, Murder Beach. It's a place. Kind of like King of Prussia. Humanity likes some weird placenames...]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (replace: ?stored)[ (display: "Transit 7") ] ][Wow...okay. Either my jokes are going right over your heads or I'm just not as funny as I thought. As my father would say, "You think you're funny. But what you don't know is you're funny, looking." And so with that I'm going to call it.]<stored|(click: ?stored)[ (goto: "The End")][And a space where you feel comfortable practicing them. This bunker is that to the extreme. Extreme!]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Hobbies 2") ] ][Magic isn't necessarily the best hobby for the apocalypse. The whole point is to perform, and if no one else survives then I'm just playing with myself.]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Hobbies 3") ] ][It's weird. As a hobby I've never thought of it this way before. Of course I've been doing it since I was a kid and what made it ideal then was the fact it's a solitary practice. But to actually perform I need other people... ]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Hobbies 4") ] ][Guess I should invite mom in.]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Hobbies 5") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div>[I do need other people...]<living|(click: ?living)[ (goto: "The End")][But she always complains about my magic. She says she can see what I'm hiding. That woman is undeniably a buzzkill. I'm not sure I want to live with her any longer...]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Hobbies 6") ] ][But odds are she'll survive whatever the apocalypse is. She's such a battleaxe. I'm almost better letting the zombies take me, or kaiju crush me. I can grab her after the stream.]<living|(click: ?living)[ (replace: ?living)[ (display: "Hobbies 7") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div>[Or just invite her in now. I'm sure that's her banging on the airlock door.]<living|(click: ?living)[ (goto: "The End") ][So where to next? The Dining Room?]<living|(click: ?living)[ (goto: "Dining Room") ]<div class="or"> OR </div>[The hallway to the bedrooms?]<living|(click: ?living)[ (goto: "Hallway") ]<div class="or"> OR </div>[Back to the entrance]<living|(click: ?living)[ (goto: "Entrance")][That my design for this bunker may not have been that smart. I should have gone with something that provides a better flow to the space. Or is more honeycombed.]<hall|(click: ?hall)[ (replace: ?hall)[ (display: "Design 2") ] ][Or at the very least something around a central hub or even corridor. Right now I just sort of added on as needed and dug out what I could.]<hall|(click: ?hall)[ (replace: ?hall)[ (display: "Design 3") ] ][Hell I could have made this place resemble the Millennium Falcon. Ugh, why did I spend so much money and not do that? I could have had a bacta tank hot tub slash sensory depreviation tank!]<hall|(click: ?hall)[ (replace: ?hall)[ (display: "Design 4") ] ][I... I think, I think I need to go reconsider a few life choices...]<hall|(click: ?hall)[ (goto: "The End") ][Alright, I'm out. Gotta see a man about a faux fowl.]<frozen|(click: ?frozen)[ (goto: "The End") ][This really shouldn't be an issue. But if you want to talk about toilets we can]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 7") ] ][Toilet paper should always roll towards you. If you replace the roll the otherway round then such TP heretics will be promptly exiled to the wasteland. Even if you are the last person on earth. There's simply no need to be so uncouth.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 8") ] ][No, seriously.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 9") ] ][I'm not joking.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 10") ] ][I never joke about toilet paper. Come the apocalypse it's going to be one of the most precious commodities. You may laugh but so few people are prepared to wipe with leaves, rocks or their hand. Pampering your popo is going to be one of the last luxuries.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 11") ] ][Just so you know, I've also installed a bum gun. Because as prepared as I may be for all eventualities, even I could run out of triple-ply. And nothing else other than the cool, refreshing flow of water can be as soft and soothing.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 12") ] ][Bum guns are the culturally sensitive and environmentally friendly, too. Compared to bidets they take up signficantly less space. I've always had trouble squated over bidets with my pants around my knees or ankels. I don't get how the French do it.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (replace: ?guest)[ (display: "Bed 13") ] ][Enough toilet talk, if you want more tune in to my podcast every Tuesday and Thursday on iTunes and Google Play. There's still so much left to show you. But first, I need to use the bathroom. Back momentarily.]<guest|(click: ?guest)[ (goto: "The End") ][And with that, our tour comes to a close. Please exit through the gift shop and if you have a moment please take the time to fill out a comment card. I read all of them.]<master|(click: ?master)[ (replace: ?master)[ (display: "Room 5") ] ]<div class="or"> ... </div>[Wait, did I miss something. I must have missed something.]<master|(click: ?master)[ (goto: "Hallway") ][Not really! I don't care what you think cause the apocalypse is going to get you all! Peace out internet! Watch out for the zombies.]<master|(click: ?master)[ (goto: "The End")][What you think the Boring Company was set up to enable better public transport? Ah hell no. I have it on good authority it's so the elite can bypass everyone else.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Tunnel 2") ] ][Everyone else who doesn't have a bunker, that is. Now I may not be a member of a cabal, or some elite so-and-so but I am respected. You should have seen how many people came up to me after my talk at BunKon. That's how I met Elon, B T Dub.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Tunnel 3") ] ][Know who else was there? Elaine. No not the real Elaine. Elaine isn't real. But the woman who plays her. Apparently she's got a lot of Seinfeld money still to spend and after visiting the Vice President's bunker for her role in Veep she's found that she wants a bunker of her own.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Tunnel 4") ] ][See all the coolest people have bunkers. And they're my buddies. It's not just a bunch of dudes, because no one wants an underground sausage fest. Unless of course that's your thing. No judgement here. But reclaiming the earth isn't going to happen by one gender alone...]<games|(click: ?games)[ (replace: ?games)[ (display: "Tunnel 5") ] ][Unless of course someone's secreted away a lab... which isn't too hard to believe. They have made some amazing advances in IVF in recent years, and that's what we've heard about. Damnit, I need to get on Bunknet to ask around about this, because I don't want my possibilities of procreation limited due to obsolescence.]<games|(click: ?games)[ (goto: "The End")]